I’ll be the first one to say I don’t usually meditate or relax well. I find it hard to put my mind at rest unless I’m sleeping, but even then I’ve been known to have things eat away and not sleep (only occasionally). Today I had a pretty emotional drive home. Not sure if it was the rain or what, but I thought of my grandparents and floods of memories and even was brought to tears. I could picture things so vividly. That was several hours earlier before starting this and thought nothing more of it after the drive as life carried on as a normal busy mom.
At first as I got started maybe 30 seconds in I could hear my husband walk past (me sitting in the middle of the bed tall and eyes closed) and I opened my eyes briefly and giggled as I knew he was standing there thinking “what crazy thing is she up to now?!” Anyway, he departed I smiled and continued on. As you asked me to go to our happy place, I went to my grandparents house. I could picture myself having tea and I cried. Ugly cry. Makeup down my face and eyeliner on my shirt cuffs. Kept my eyes closed and continued and saw my “thing” which was just a tiny purple blob. That purple blob changed over the time to a large purple mass that covered my field of vision and slowly turned from orange to pink. At the end it returned to a small purple blob that faded away completely.
As I typed this I’m crying again, it is that emotional time of the month, but this felt pretty powerful today and for the first time in all my attempts at meditation, I felt some emotional release and rewarded. I’m off for a hot bath and to clean up this face.
Woman, I see you and I’m sending so much love to you. Thank you for being willing to do this practice, and thank you for sharing your vulnerability. I hope you continue to find release, comfort, and strength here <3
I’ll be the first one to say I don’t usually meditate or relax well. I find it hard to put my mind at rest unless I’m sleeping, but even then I’ve been known to have things eat away and not sleep (only occasionally). Today I had a pretty emotional drive home. Not sure if it was the rain or what, but I thought of my grandparents and floods of memories and even was brought to tears. I could picture things so vividly. That was several hours earlier before starting this and thought nothing more of it after the drive as life carried on as a normal busy mom.
At first as I got started maybe 30 seconds in I could hear my husband walk past (me sitting in the middle of the bed tall and eyes closed) and I opened my eyes briefly and giggled as I knew he was standing there thinking “what crazy thing is she up to now?!” Anyway, he departed I smiled and continued on. As you asked me to go to our happy place, I went to my grandparents house. I could picture myself having tea and I cried. Ugly cry. Makeup down my face and eyeliner on my shirt cuffs. Kept my eyes closed and continued and saw my “thing” which was just a tiny purple blob. That purple blob changed over the time to a large purple mass that covered my field of vision and slowly turned from orange to pink. At the end it returned to a small purple blob that faded away completely.
As I typed this I’m crying again, it is that emotional time of the month, but this felt pretty powerful today and for the first time in all my attempts at meditation, I felt some emotional release and rewarded. I’m off for a hot bath and to clean up this face.
Thank you ❤.
Woman, I see you and I’m sending so much love to you. Thank you for being willing to do this practice, and thank you for sharing your vulnerability. I hope you continue to find release, comfort, and strength here <3