Marriage Struggles

by | Jul 23, 2019 | Blog, Mental Wealth

My marriage took a hit recently.⁠⠀
When I recently went through that mental funk, I lost my mojo, and I wasn’t myself.⁠⠀
It was impacting the confidence I have in myself and thus, it was impacting our relationship.⁠⠀
I had to sit Matt down and flat out ask him

  • What’s going through your head?
  • Are you worried about us?
  • Are you concerned this is the ‘new me’?”

He was supporting me, but all of my insecurities were surfacing during this time, and I questioned him.⁠⠀
I questioned us.⁠
In our almost 10 years together, we’ve gone through relationship adjustments like moving multiple times, family sicknesses, death, financial ups and downs, introducing a child, and the physical changes of taking out my implants and all the physical and emotional stuff around that.⁠⠀
Through all of this, I have maintained confidence in myself, and in our relationship.⁠⠀

But that funk really broke me down, and things were crossing my mind like:

– I am Nelly Negative, and not fun for Matt to be around⁠⠀
– I am the least horny I’ve ever been, he’s likely disappointed⁠⠀
– I am not in the mood to go out, I must be so boring to him ⁠⠀
– I’m getting so snippy and becoming ‘that wife’ that bickers, not cool⁠⠀
– If he’s around positive women he’s likely more attracted to them than me right now⁠⠀
As I started to finally feel like myself again, I realized that my mental health is an integral and very important part of our sexual relationship.⁠⠀
Not my tits. Not my aging lines. Not my body.⁠
As soon as I got my mojo back, our intimacy, connection, and ability to have a healthy & sexually fulfilling marriage came flooding back.⁠⠀
We’re on a peak again, and I’m happy to say that my physical appearance had ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with it.⁠⠀
There’s nothing wrong with feeling attractive, but it was a nice reminder that most of my sex drive and his attraction to me comes from the person I AM – not what I look like.

Even when we age and look like the older couple here, I am still going to be that woman he married….Just a more evolved version of her.⁠⠀
And I’m proud of that.

How much importance do you put on your looks when it comes to your sex life?

Do you think your spouse cares about that a lot?

Would you consider your ‘marriage mojo’ is primarily from what you bring to the table as a woman & the way you make them feel, or do you place your sexuality & confidence on your looks??

I’d love to hear from you guys below.

In an effort to keeping it real so we can connect, reflect & respect…

Yours truly,
Ashley xo

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