In 2018 I was influenced by a social media influencer to get Botox.
It was something I NEVER considered or thought I’d do, and then BAM, she takes us along to her appointments every three or four months, talks openly about it, and the next thing I know I’m in her DM’s asking her whether she thinks they could fix my laugh lines.
Her response?
“I don’t think they can Botox laugh lines, but maybe fillers would work?! You should go to a consult and see!?”.
At the time it felt exciting, thrilling, validating even.
My rationale was that since both of us were being open & honest about it, we were obviously full of integrity & confidence compared to the women I knew that hid it from their followers & significant others.
So I booked my consult to go and chat about my laugh lines.
Here’s how my consult went in a nutshell…. 
- We can’t fix your laugh lines with Botox
- Gaining weight would be helpful
- Getting fillers around that area would help smooth them out
- Consider getting Botox in other areas of your face, like your ’11’s’ and crow’s feet to prevent further aging
I left there feeling pretty crappy about myself.
And that’s when it clicked for me….
I wasn’t doing this from a place of love or higher standard.
I was doing this from a place of inadequacy, and this influencer’s support & the spa’s encouragement just made it worse.
I was doing this because I was afraid to be left behind and not as attractive to those taking ‘preventative aging’ measures. I was doing this because I didn’t want my husband to become unattracted to me as I began to age. I was doing this because I was lead to believe it simply wasn’t a big deal.
But it is a big deal.
I want you to know that when social media influencers try to disguise their behaviours as part of the self-love & body-positive journey, it’s doing damage to our self-esteem.
I want you to know she’s saying this because if she gives you permission to do it, she can give herself permission to comfort her own insecurities as well.
I want you to know that every time a woman encourages you to get these things, although on the outside it may seem genuine, that in fact it’s doing damage to your self-worth on the inside.
I want you to know that this body-positive and self-love movement should 100% include your face, which means that we need to see more natural aging and unfiltered faces in the media too.
I want you to know that I feel an incredible amount of regret and responsibility for ever making a woman feel excited about changing her body, and I have a layer of guilt for discussing Botox parties with girlfriends I truly love and find simply beautiful.
Every time I did this, the silent message was “you’re right, you’re not enough as you are, let’s fix that”.
And I want you to know that these ‘normal’ procedures are doing damage to us socially, physically and emotionally.
If there is someone on social media that is triggering you like this woman can trigger me, you need to question their message and not take everything at face value.
Please help me bring our faces into the self-love & body-positive movement.
Please help me be the change we want to see in the world for other women who have struggled enough with our appearance and don’t need another fake layer added on to that.
Please share your own personal experience with this in the comments below.
Please help me celebrate these badass lines I’ve been gifted with on my face from all these years of joy, expression, and the privilege of aging. I look forward to accumulating more.
With love,
Ash xo
